A Silly Story to Make Me Smile

Just an explanation. Back in January, my dear friend Janrae died. She was also known as the Cuss. Soon after she passed, her daughter, Sovay, showed some of us a piece of chat between them. In it, because of a pause in the conversation, Janrae, being full of whimsy and imagination, broke into story telling. It made me smile to see words from her again, yet made me sad too, especially as she characterised herself as a lonely moose.

This made me sit and write a story of my own. I just had to write something for her, about her, which was more fun and portrayed her in a better light. The way I and others saw her. So this is what I spewed out. It has taken some time for the sadness to pass before I felt ready to put it up.

Oh, and the rumpus bit is from a daft conversation I had with Janrae and her daughter one day.

With that out of the way, let us begin:

Two young, would-be witches were walking down the lane, hand in hand, to go see the Cuss. The Cuss was wise and powerful in magic, so many wished to be taught by her. She was also a bit odd, many suspected her of being a trouble-maker, and she lived in a strange forest with many weird and wild creatures running amok within it – all so she wouldn’t be bothered by nuisances and nitwits. This meant the two witches had to be alert. It was a brave thing to do, but they really wanted to see her.

Suddenly they halted. Before them was a small, grumpy looking critter, barring their way. They had never seen the like and wondered what it could be, and also what purpose it had.

“What is it?” wondered Hallie.

“I think it’s a rumpus,” remarked Sovay.

“I ain’t no rumpus. Imma Git!” declared the Git, stamping a foot.

“He looks like a rumpus to me,” insisted Sovay.

“What do you want? We’re going to see the Cuss and we don’t have time for little gits,” Hallie stated.

“You ain’t seeing no Cuss. I won’t let you!” snarled the Git in a highly unimpressive manner.

“How will you stop us?” asked Hallie as both giggled.

“I’ll menace you with British slang,” declared the Git. “Just like the Cuss menaced me with a bottle of ketchup yesterday. Oops!” He clamped his hand on his mouth, realising he had made a mistake.

“So you know the Cuss!” exclaimed Sovay. “Take us to her. We wish to see her.”

“I don’t know no Cuss. It ain’t like she bosses me about every damn day or nuffin.” Again the Git stopped his mouth. He was a daft critter indeed.

“Gittykins! Here; Gittykins!” came a voice.

“Yikesarama!” shrieked the Git, and he scampered off into the undergrowth.

Down the lane came the Cuss, walking along with her magical staff in one hand and a bag of candy in the other. She peered about as she went, making cooing noises and calling out, then she halted as she saw the two young witches.

“Have you seen my Git? He’s run off again. Damn nuisance. I know he always comes back but I get so worried about him being out here. He might get eaten by a monster. He’s only a wee git, you know?”

“We have just seen him,” revealed Sovay. “He seemed pretty obnoxious.”

“Oh, don’t mind him. He’s a PITA at worst.” By this, the Cuss meant he was a Pain In The Ass, although the Git would always try to correct her by saying arse. Either way, it was true.

“Well he ran off that way when he heard you coming,” said Hallie, pointing into the bushes.

“Oi! Don’t tell her!” cried a voice from that direction.

“Ah ha! There he is! Come here, Gittykins. I’ll give you a treat if you do,” called the Cuss.

“What kind?” asked the Git suspiciously.

“Chocolate chips coated in chocolate with chocolate on top. Your favourite.”

“Ooooh.” They could hear the drool on his mouth already. “You promise not to put me back in my cage?”

“No,” said the Cuss.

“You promise not to hit me with a wet sausage?”

“No. I don’t.”

“You promise not to threaten to chew my ankles?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well okay, seeing as you put it like that.” The Git scampered out and stood by the Cuss. She tossed the bag of candies at him, which he caught and shoved his head into it, scoffing the lot quickly.

“Bad Git,” the Cuss told him, but patted his head at the same time. Then she looked the young witches over with a discerning gaze. “Hmmm, new students, are you? My last ones were flamegrilled by a dragon. The ones before that were carried off by impudent hippos. You think you will fare better?”

“Yes!” chorused the young witches.

“You know, I think you will,” remarked the Cuss with a smile. “Come on, let’s get home and get you two settled in. I have a lot to teach you both.” She tugged the Git’s ear as she turned and began walking back up the lane. “Come on, Gittykins.”

“I hate that name,” harumphed the Git.

“Too bad. I love it,” chuckled the Cuss.

“Still looks like a rumpus to me,” Sovay whispered to Hallie as they followed the Cuss to her home.

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