So this post I dug up amuses me because I remember watching the movie and just having to spout off about how bad it was. I had really wanted to see it, had hoped it would at least be entertaining, but clearly my wish was not met. Not sure when I saw it, must be a good few years ago at least, and I’ve not seen it since. Judging by this post, I have no reason to.
Oh, and on this forum I posted on, we had smurf smilies so we sometimes gave them instead of star ratings. So that’s why I mention ‘giving smurfs’. In case you thought that was a euphemism. You naughty folk. 😉
So here it is:
This is a public service announcement.
I watched Pathfinder today. An action movie about Vikings versus Native Americans. Sounds good? NOOOOOO!!!!!
Shit. No real characters, very unrealistic (apparently if you cut someone’s face with a sword then the eye pops out!), and dull. Yes, some decent action scenes, but overall it is poor, over edited, and, well, rubbish. Sometimes the Vikings wipe everyone out, and then other times they fall like sticks.
It would be too easy to say this movie is White Man saves Indians from Vikings, but it really does come close. The main character, a Viking adopted by the Native Americans, goes round killing the baddies and saving everyone else. A few Native Americans have their moment, but most end up dead.
In one laughable moment, the trap he has set for the Vikings backfires as the Americans jump right into it. They are promptly slaughtered.
It is just dire nonsense. You never get to know anyone, especially the Vikings. We’ve gone back to the old stereo typical notion that they are just a bunch of big bad killers. Not sure about all that armour and some of the weapons they used either (flail?). The worst moment comes when the leader kills his friend and second in command to save himself.
Yes, that’s right. The baddies are all bad, and the goodies are all good.
Karl Urban is the main character and I like him. I think he is a pretty decent actor and better than this. It also has Clancy Brown in and he is always cool. But everything else is rubbish. We could have had Native Americans versus Vikings, with both sides shown for all their savagery and honour, but no. We get American Tarzan. We get a bunch of stuff that ends quite poorly.
So whatever you do, don’t watch Pathfinder. It isn’t worth it. I would give it three smurfs, one for some nice fights, one for the big bad scary look of the Vikings, and one for Clancy Brown himself. Always give Clancy Brown a smurf.
So 3 out of 10 smurfs. But they’re shit smurfs. You have been warned.